The Small Yes

It’s August 2025 and everybody is stressed. The funding landscape is whackadoodle – grants are disappearing, the donor pool is shrinking, and most of us are under a lot of pressure to deliver. But still, if you see one more profile request from Janet marked “urgent” come in today, your head is going to explode.

I get it, and I have good news: there is a way to deal with this that doesn’t involve sacrificing your sanity or telling Janet to take a hike.

This year marks the start of my second decade as a researcher (!), and I would say that one of the most critical things I have learned is the power of the Small Yes.

What is the Small Yes?

Full disclosure: the Small Yes is an idea that came from parenting advice for managing my toddler. The angle is that finding a way to say “yes” to part of a request is better received than saying “no” to most of a request.

Real life example, when I forgot the Small Yes:
I put a container of cookies in a cabinet.
My kid: Mom, I want cookies! Can I have them?
Me: No, these are for later.
My kid: *screams*

Real life example, with the Small Yes:
I’m making breakfast.
My kid: Mom, I want a cookie!
Me: Sure! You can have a cookie in the car after you eat your breakfast*.
My kid: Mmm, okay *plays chase with the dog*
*Mini biscotti are breakfast cookies, right?

Don’t worry, I’m not saying our frontline colleagues are toddlers. The Small Yes is for softening disappointment or frustration while not giving in to unreasonable demands, which I think we can agree applies to all ages.

The Professional Small Yes

I had a client last year that was going through it – they were experiencing multiple leadership changes and research staff turnover, which made their work process chaotic. I could feel their stress when emails came through. A recurring issue was that research would get event guest lists at the last minute, and I would get a request for 10-15 event bios due yesterday.

It would have been 100% reasonable to say no, that’s not possible – they weren’t my only client, and I had other deadlines to accommodate. But that would have made their day even worse – so I used the Small Yes:

“Yes, I think I can make time to help with some of these bios. I have some other deadlines this week, but I think I can do about half of them if you can do the rest internally. We may have to push back the John Doe profile. Would noon on Wednesday work as a deadline?”

The client was more than happy to delay the profile, which was not as time-sensitive, and relieved they only had to do half the bios. They were happy to have received help in a tense situation, even if it wasn’t all of what they asked for. I took pressure off them without sacrificing my own time, and their leadership got what they needed in time for the event. Everybody won.

I had another client that I worked with on a wealth screening for campaign planning. They were a small shop, and they wanted the absolutely most they could get out of working with us. They wanted in-depth research profiles on the top-rated prospects, but the screening had taken up most of their contract time. Instead of telling them everything I couldn’t give them with the time we had left, I focused on the positive:

“Yes, I should have time to write abbreviated profiles on the top 10 prospects in the time we have left. If they go quickly, we can add a few more before the contract ends.”

I agreed to their request but created conservative expectations that didn’t tax my schedule. They were happy to hear what could be done, and even happier when there was time to add more profiles before the end of the project. Again, everybody won.

Wait – Why Not Just a Big No?

This sounds like a hassle, I hear you say, why not just say no instead of creating more work?

Because Big Nos are a bummer. Nobody likes being rejected, especially if they’re already having negative feelings about a situation. If your colleagues expect you to bum them out, they’ll likely stop coming to you at all. What are we were for, if no one wants our skills?

I try to reserve the Big Nos for situations that push the limits of the APRA Statement of Ethics (which doesn’t happen often, thankfully).

Good Vibes

I love the Small Yes because it is, ultimately, an act of kindness to both me and the person I am helping. We all deserve to have our time respected, but we also deserve a hand when we’re under pressure and we have colleagues who could provide it. Like they say: it’s the small things that count.